As I was on the phone to my cousin, our conversation ended up going down the path of dating. What are our thoughts on it? She then recommended this book by Joshua Harris, titled: I Kissed Dating Goodbye. “Strange name, why would you want to kiss dating goodbye?” I thought, but I can’t deny the fact that I was extremely intrigued by the title of this book.
It takes me a while to pick up a book and read it from back to front. The only books I’ve ever read by choice (apart from Graphic Novels) are self help books such as; The Definitive Book of Body Language (Allen and Barbara Pease), and though I’m ashamed to admit it, The Game (By Neil Strauss). When I finally got to buying this book, I was hooked from the beginning to the end, and was left with a new view on dating. By the end of the page, I had decided to “Kiss Dating Goodbye” myself. Here’s why.
This book isn’t your normal self help book. Some might not even call it that kind of book, because it’s just the opinion of a young adult male, stating his opinions and backing them up with examples and scripture. The book is broken down into several chapters, covering many of the aspects that we take for granted when pursuing romance in and out of the Church. Joshua Harris makes it clear constantly, that a romantic relationship with a partner is best when it involves; God as the leader, your spiritual mentor, your family, and your friends, not just man and woman alone.
Most of us have made the mistake of pursuing romance, when we’re not spiritually mature enough to stay pure, meanwhile encouraging our partner through prayer. Harris makes it clear that there’s no fine line separating purity and impurity. It all starts from your heart, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28. Therefore just because you haven’t lost your virginity, doesn’t mean you have a “pure” relationship.
We often get into a relationship based on our emotions, rather than the other factors mentioned above. This is why a lot of relationships end up with emotional scars that take a lot of time to heal, if ever. Joshua Harris chose to stop dating because he didn’t want the emotional issues that come from having previous partners. Although Harris is very affirmative with his opinions, he always makes it clear that he’s not telling every Christian to “stop dating”, what he’s trying to communicate in “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” is that there is a lot to think about spiritually and emotionally, before pursuing romance with someone.
In the end you will realise that this book is not really just about ‘dating’, it’s about your relationship with the father. I would recommend this book to anyone that is in a relationship or not. I’ve learned a lot from Joshua Harris, and it has shaped the way I think when it comes to romance.